I have a deck that sits in my back yard and attached to it was a 24″ planter that ran the length of the deck. It, unfortunately, was set right above the outside section of the plumbing running underground from the house. It makes it really tough to work on my pipes with this big monster of a planter in the way. So, it had to go! Being the eternal optimist that I am, I, naturally, thought it would be fairly easy to take apart since it was originally installed with screws. Unscrew them, move the pieces and Voila!
Yeah, that never works.
I put on my best farm wear, broke out my tools, and went outside to get to work. By the time I’d walked out to the planter, I realized that the 45 pounds I’ve lost over the last couple of years did not allow my farm pants to stay in place properly. So, I went back to the front porch for some twine to hold my pants up. There! No more embarrassing “dropping of trou” while doing demolition.
Back to the planter and I started unscrewing screws. Snap! The screw head broke off. I pulled out the short end of it and realize that the screws they used were not rust resistant. They have been rusting in place for the past decade and now aren’t strong enough to be twisted out of the wood. They are, however, strong enough to keep the planter from coming apart. Oh, and they are 4 inches long.
After several carefully chosen invectives, I decided to break out the crowbar and a very big hammer. It was time to use some of these muscles I’ve worked so hard to develop. The whacking and banging made the horses a bit on edge, but after about a half hour of resounding thwacks and several increasingly creative invectives, the planter laid in pieces on the deck. Yippee! Now the parts and pieces can be reused as a planter in a better place, where it won’t be in the way.
I stood there, surveying my destructive handiwork, in pants held up by jute twine, realizing that I can do big physical things, if I’m dedicated enough. Farmwork is empowering. For a computer geek like me, that’s kinda cool.
…or lessons in what not to do if you don’t want to lose your shirt. No waving. Don’t arrange your hair. Try not to scratch your nose. Otherwise, you could become the owner of a lovely chuckwagon or a full set of brass-fitted show harnesses. Not that I would mind having something like that, but the wallet would be screaming. (Not to mention the trouble I’d have getting it home. Me, with my little econo-car…) I did buy a lovely set of hip-drop bells that I adore. I believe they will be staying in the house, adorning my walls, however, rather than hanging out in the tack room.